Dear Mon
Roommate Troubles
Monica Graziosi
Issue date: 2/5/10 Section: Arts & Entertainment
What's the best way to tell my roommate that I don't want to live with her next year?
Gently but firmly. If you are friends (or were before you moved in together), stress that it's for the sake of your relationship. Tell her you love hanging out with her and you want her in your life, but think that continuing to live together will put too much strain on your friendship. If it will help, you can even point out things you do that bug her, like leaving towels on the floor or being too loud in the morning. Explain that without being around each other 24/7 you won't get on each other's nerves and you'll have more fun together.
If you aren't friends, simply state that things aren't working out and you want to find another living situation for next year. If she asks you why, answer honestly without being rude. If it's because you need quiet so you can study, tell her. If your lifestyles aren't compatible, tell her. If you just want to live by yourself, tell her. If she's a levelheaded person she will understand. If she isn't - well, then I guess I know why you don't want to stay roommates. But it's just something she will have to deal with. Stay calm and stand your ground; don't waiver if she starts saying what a great roomie you are or gives you a sob story about having to find someone else. She'll survive.
It's also important that you tell her sooner rather than later so you both have plenty of time to find new roommates or a new place to live. Nobody deserves to be left hanging at the last minute.
My roommate is really nice and we get along pretty well, but she is so cheap! She argues that she shouldn't have to pay as much for cable since she doesn't watch a lot of TV, and when we go grocery shopping she's even weirder. We share food, and she'll say things like "You eat more bread, so you should pay for 2/3 of the loaf and I'll pay the other third." What should I do?
Wow. I have seen some parsimonious penny pinching, but that is pretty ridiculous. The first thing you should do is stop sharing groceries. You can still shop together, but get your own stuff. Saving a few cents by buying a gallon of milk instead of two half-gallons is not worth the aggravation of haggling with her over who should pay what. If you're worried about food spoiling, buy smaller containers of perishable items and freeze what you can.
As for the cable problem, you have two options. You could offer to cut your cable service entirely and just watch movies and videos online. If either of you don't want to go that route, then you have to put your foot down. Explain that the cable bill is the same every month no matter how much TV is watched, so if she watches any of it she must pay for half. And by the sound of things, you may want to refer to the question above.
Gently but firmly. If you are friends (or were before you moved in together), stress that it's for the sake of your relationship. Tell her you love hanging out with her and you want her in your life, but think that continuing to live together will put too much strain on your friendship. If it will help, you can even point out things you do that bug her, like leaving towels on the floor or being too loud in the morning. Explain that without being around each other 24/7 you won't get on each other's nerves and you'll have more fun together.
If you aren't friends, simply state that things aren't working out and you want to find another living situation for next year. If she asks you why, answer honestly without being rude. If it's because you need quiet so you can study, tell her. If your lifestyles aren't compatible, tell her. If you just want to live by yourself, tell her. If she's a levelheaded person she will understand. If she isn't - well, then I guess I know why you don't want to stay roommates. But it's just something she will have to deal with. Stay calm and stand your ground; don't waiver if she starts saying what a great roomie you are or gives you a sob story about having to find someone else. She'll survive.
It's also important that you tell her sooner rather than later so you both have plenty of time to find new roommates or a new place to live. Nobody deserves to be left hanging at the last minute.
My roommate is really nice and we get along pretty well, but she is so cheap! She argues that she shouldn't have to pay as much for cable since she doesn't watch a lot of TV, and when we go grocery shopping she's even weirder. We share food, and she'll say things like "You eat more bread, so you should pay for 2/3 of the loaf and I'll pay the other third." What should I do?
Wow. I have seen some parsimonious penny pinching, but that is pretty ridiculous. The first thing you should do is stop sharing groceries. You can still shop together, but get your own stuff. Saving a few cents by buying a gallon of milk instead of two half-gallons is not worth the aggravation of haggling with her over who should pay what. If you're worried about food spoiling, buy smaller containers of perishable items and freeze what you can.
As for the cable problem, you have two options. You could offer to cut your cable service entirely and just watch movies and videos online. If either of you don't want to go that route, then you have to put your foot down. Explain that the cable bill is the same every month no matter how much TV is watched, so if she watches any of it she must pay for half. And by the sound of things, you may want to refer to the question above.
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