Mon discusses communication
Monica Graziosi
Issue date: 10/23/09 Section: Arts & Entertainment
Dear Mon,
I'm gay and my parents don't know about it. I had girlfriends all through high school, so I don't think they have any idea. I'm not sure how they'll take it. How should I come out to them?
My Darling Closet Case,
This is a question near and dear to me. I have many gay friends and family members, and my own sexual orientation tends to differ from the straight and narrow. I've heard coming out stories that have made me cry, and others that have made my heart soar. While you can't control how your parents are going to react to your homosexuality, choosing the right time and place can help tip the odds in your favor.
I would highly recommend telling them at home. If things don't go so well and one or both parents freak out, you don't want Mom crying in the middle of Carrabba's or Dad accidentally running the car off the road. It will also help because home is generally the place people are most comfortable, so they'll be more relaxed.
I also suggest you pick an ordinary day to do it. Don't come out to your parents on Mother's Day or at Grandma's funeral, when emotions are running high already. You don't want this to be a dramatic spectacle. Just tell your parents that as you've grown up and learned more about yourself, you discovered that you are gay. If they get upset, stress the fact that you are still the caring person they know and love, and that nothing about the core of who you are as a person has changed.
You may want to read the coming out guides on the Human Rights Campaign website at www.hrc.org for some more pointers. They also have a page for parents of LGBT people that your parents might want to check out. And if you haven't already, you might want to go to a FUSE meeting. FUSE stands for the Foundation of Undergraduates for Sexual Equality, and serves as Drexel's gay-straight alliance. FUSE meets every Tuesday night at 7p.m. in the North Hall multipurpose room.
You're doing a very brave thing coming out to your parents; I wish you all the best.
I'm gay and my parents don't know about it. I had girlfriends all through high school, so I don't think they have any idea. I'm not sure how they'll take it. How should I come out to them?
My Darling Closet Case,
This is a question near and dear to me. I have many gay friends and family members, and my own sexual orientation tends to differ from the straight and narrow. I've heard coming out stories that have made me cry, and others that have made my heart soar. While you can't control how your parents are going to react to your homosexuality, choosing the right time and place can help tip the odds in your favor.
I would highly recommend telling them at home. If things don't go so well and one or both parents freak out, you don't want Mom crying in the middle of Carrabba's or Dad accidentally running the car off the road. It will also help because home is generally the place people are most comfortable, so they'll be more relaxed.
I also suggest you pick an ordinary day to do it. Don't come out to your parents on Mother's Day or at Grandma's funeral, when emotions are running high already. You don't want this to be a dramatic spectacle. Just tell your parents that as you've grown up and learned more about yourself, you discovered that you are gay. If they get upset, stress the fact that you are still the caring person they know and love, and that nothing about the core of who you are as a person has changed.
You may want to read the coming out guides on the Human Rights Campaign website at www.hrc.org for some more pointers. They also have a page for parents of LGBT people that your parents might want to check out. And if you haven't already, you might want to go to a FUSE meeting. FUSE stands for the Foundation of Undergraduates for Sexual Equality, and serves as Drexel's gay-straight alliance. FUSE meets every Tuesday night at 7p.m. in the North Hall multipurpose room.
You're doing a very brave thing coming out to your parents; I wish you all the best.
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