Spring Break
Sass Attack!
Suzette De La Cré
Issue date: 5/1/09 Section: Arts & Entertainment
Do you ever feel lost? Like you're not sure which direction to take in life? Let's face it - sometimes we need help navigating this crazy thing called college. That's why I'm here. Consider me your third-party, impartial columnist. You have questions, and baby doll, I've got your answers. Or rather, I can provide my spin on things. So sit on down and buckle up, 'cause you're in for a big ol' Sass Attack!
There is this guy I really like. We went out on Monday for dinner and afterward we ended up fooling around. I texted him when I got back to my dorm, he has not responded yet. Today is Thursday. Is he avoiding me?
Well dear, you are in one heck of a situation. I hate to jump to conclusions, but I think you've been used. Wham. Bam. Thank you ma'am. As a general rule, I find it poor form to participate in physical contact on a first date, particularly if you actually like the date. It is much smarter to hold back in the hopes of getting a second date.
Now, because I haven't given up all hope on humanity (yet), I think you could be optimistic. As college students, we are very busy people. Easily, he could be too busy to get back to you and will when things calm down. It is midterms this week and he may be swamped with studying. Also, I'd like to point out that technology is not reliable. Texts don't always make it to their destination. Honestly though, these feel like excuses to me. Not to mention, if he is too busy, you may not want to get involved because he may not have time to give you while dating.
My verdict: he's avoiding you. What should you do? Move on.
I'm concerned about the lack of communication in my relationship. How do I tell the guy I'm seeing how I feel about him, and perhaps even how he feels about me?
I hear this all the time. Relationships are tough. The key, in my mind at least, is to keep communication open. You need to be able to be honest with him. My only suggestion is to just be blunt and say what you think. It drives me crazy when people are so roundabout with their feelings that what they end up saying sounds either childish or confusing. So sit down with your boyfriend and tell him what it is you feel for him. There is nothing wrong with asking him what he feels for you. With that last one, you need to be open minded and understanding. You can never go into a situation expecting the answer you want. That is the fastest way to hurt yourself.
I am a gay man. I don't want to be gay anymore. How can I stop it?
Pause for exaggerate sign and rolling of the eyes. And for my readers, this one is real. I happen to be having coffee with an old friend who recently came out to me. We grew up in the same area and have known each other for a rather long time. During our conversation, he confessed to me his desire to stop being gay. Yadda Yadda, he's afraid of burning in hell for his sinful lusts.
For all those going through this or any other identity crisis, this is what I have to say to you.
You are who you are; either you can live with it and find a way to be happy or you can grow more and more spiteful for who you are and end up going insane - and I mean that quite literally. People who hate themselves often end up in psychiatric help for years. On the other hand, individuals who grow to accept who they are tend to live happier, more fabulous lives. I realize that being an alternative-lifestyle individual is not easy. Right now the LGBTQ community is under a lot of pressure because of recent developments in freedom (Prop. 8 and its reactions, passing of gay marriage in various states, etc.). The anti-gay rights movement is up in arms and spreading a lot of hatred. You cannot, I repeat cannot, let these people and their own hang-ups hurt you. As I've already stated and will so forever: you are the person you are meant to be. Embrace it. Love yourself. Be happy.
Note from Suzette to my lovely readers …
Hey ya'll, just wanted to give a quick p.s. to all you. Thank you for reading Sass Attack. I hope you enjoy it and take something from my preaching. I need your help though. We have not been receiving many questions as of late and it is making writing this column rather difficult. I've had to use issues of my friends and god knows they can be dramatic, but it's time I reached out and helped others. So help me help you - write in sometime. It is 100 percent anonymous, and my advice is free.
<3 always,
Suzette De La Cre
There is this guy I really like. We went out on Monday for dinner and afterward we ended up fooling around. I texted him when I got back to my dorm, he has not responded yet. Today is Thursday. Is he avoiding me?
Well dear, you are in one heck of a situation. I hate to jump to conclusions, but I think you've been used. Wham. Bam. Thank you ma'am. As a general rule, I find it poor form to participate in physical contact on a first date, particularly if you actually like the date. It is much smarter to hold back in the hopes of getting a second date.
Now, because I haven't given up all hope on humanity (yet), I think you could be optimistic. As college students, we are very busy people. Easily, he could be too busy to get back to you and will when things calm down. It is midterms this week and he may be swamped with studying. Also, I'd like to point out that technology is not reliable. Texts don't always make it to their destination. Honestly though, these feel like excuses to me. Not to mention, if he is too busy, you may not want to get involved because he may not have time to give you while dating.
My verdict: he's avoiding you. What should you do? Move on.
I'm concerned about the lack of communication in my relationship. How do I tell the guy I'm seeing how I feel about him, and perhaps even how he feels about me?
I hear this all the time. Relationships are tough. The key, in my mind at least, is to keep communication open. You need to be able to be honest with him. My only suggestion is to just be blunt and say what you think. It drives me crazy when people are so roundabout with their feelings that what they end up saying sounds either childish or confusing. So sit down with your boyfriend and tell him what it is you feel for him. There is nothing wrong with asking him what he feels for you. With that last one, you need to be open minded and understanding. You can never go into a situation expecting the answer you want. That is the fastest way to hurt yourself.
I am a gay man. I don't want to be gay anymore. How can I stop it?
Pause for exaggerate sign and rolling of the eyes. And for my readers, this one is real. I happen to be having coffee with an old friend who recently came out to me. We grew up in the same area and have known each other for a rather long time. During our conversation, he confessed to me his desire to stop being gay. Yadda Yadda, he's afraid of burning in hell for his sinful lusts.
For all those going through this or any other identity crisis, this is what I have to say to you.
You are who you are; either you can live with it and find a way to be happy or you can grow more and more spiteful for who you are and end up going insane - and I mean that quite literally. People who hate themselves often end up in psychiatric help for years. On the other hand, individuals who grow to accept who they are tend to live happier, more fabulous lives. I realize that being an alternative-lifestyle individual is not easy. Right now the LGBTQ community is under a lot of pressure because of recent developments in freedom (Prop. 8 and its reactions, passing of gay marriage in various states, etc.). The anti-gay rights movement is up in arms and spreading a lot of hatred. You cannot, I repeat cannot, let these people and their own hang-ups hurt you. As I've already stated and will so forever: you are the person you are meant to be. Embrace it. Love yourself. Be happy.
Note from Suzette to my lovely readers …
Hey ya'll, just wanted to give a quick p.s. to all you. Thank you for reading Sass Attack. I hope you enjoy it and take something from my preaching. I need your help though. We have not been receiving many questions as of late and it is making writing this column rather difficult. I've had to use issues of my friends and god knows they can be dramatic, but it's time I reached out and helped others. So help me help you - write in sometime. It is 100 percent anonymous, and my advice is free.
<3 always,
Suzette De La Cre
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
Tom
posted 5/01/09 @ 10:07 AM EST
Economic issues matter and marriage is an economic issue. Studies show that married people are slightly healthier (less costs) and wealthier (pay more taxes) than their single counterparts and this is true for gay people as well. (Continued…)
Post a Comment