Ask Andy
Got Problems? Andy's got solutions!
By: Andy Kabel
Issue date: 7/13/07 Section: Ed-Op
Originally published: 7/12/07 at 11:41 PM EST
Last update: 7/12/07 at 11:41 PM EST
Originally published: 7/12/07 at 11:41 PM EST
Last update: 7/12/07 at 11:41 PM EST
Wanted: Sense of humor
Andy,
My girlfriend and I have been at odds a lot lately because she doesn't think I'm funny. Is this something I can fix, or should I just kill her?
-Momoh
I mean, if you are really intent on making her laugh (I don't know why you would be) there are some compromises to be made. After all, this is a relationship. How about considering changing your sense of humor. Try telling her Dane Cook jokes. That always seems to work for me.
-Andy
I wouldn't worry… too much
Andy,
I have a friend who really wants to be a part of the Ultimate Fighter's Challenge. I feel like he is going to get hurt, but don't want to say anything that might make him think twice and fall short of completing his dream. What do you think I should do?
-Marissa
I don't recall it being that violent. Is it? Ultimate Fighter's Challenge is that really homoerotic show where the guys act all tough, get really sweaty and hug each other for an hour straight, right? Well…yeah. I guess I'd be concerned as well.
-Andy
A good meal will do the trick
Andy,
I have a boyfriend who is very religious due to his family's influence. They are Jewish, and will not let him enter into a relationship with someone who isn't. I'm Catholic, and love my boyfriend very much. What can I do to change their opinion?
-Lucy
Nothing shows that you'll make a good wife better than cooking for his family. First, dig a pit in your backyard. Fill it with wood charcoal. Head down to the Italian Market and pick yourself up a whole de-boned pig. Now, invite your boyfriend and his family over. Throw the pig into the pit along with some vegetables, roast until ready to serve. Remember to be as hospitable as possible.
-Andy
What a day!
Andy,
The other morning I went to work like every other day. About an hour after I left the house, black smoke started to pour out from under the hood of my car. I don't really know how to handle cars, but my husband does. After calling the house and having no one pick up, I decided to slowly drive home. When I got there, I discovered my husband lying on our bed, wearing my lingerie and make-up. I've confronted him about this, but he won't talk to me. Is there any hope for us?
-Wendy
Black smoke usually means that you have a problem with the oil. Did you change it when you were supposed to?
-Andy
Don't even ask
Andy,
I dread going to my British Literature class every week. There's a room full of desks, but only one of them is left-handed. As I am left handed, and the only left handed person in the class (I've checked), I always try and get to that desk first. Recently, there has been another student who gets to class early, and takes this desk, forcing me to write uncomfortably throughout the class. Is there something I can say that won't sound too aggressive, but will be forceful enough to convince this student to leave?
-Margaret
This is the worst question ever.
-Andy
Andy Kabel is sophomore majoring in screenwriting. If you need Andy's advice, send your questions to AskAndy@thetriangle.org. Your name will be kept anonymous.
Andy,
My girlfriend and I have been at odds a lot lately because she doesn't think I'm funny. Is this something I can fix, or should I just kill her?
-Momoh
I mean, if you are really intent on making her laugh (I don't know why you would be) there are some compromises to be made. After all, this is a relationship. How about considering changing your sense of humor. Try telling her Dane Cook jokes. That always seems to work for me.
-Andy
I wouldn't worry… too much
Andy,
I have a friend who really wants to be a part of the Ultimate Fighter's Challenge. I feel like he is going to get hurt, but don't want to say anything that might make him think twice and fall short of completing his dream. What do you think I should do?
-Marissa
I don't recall it being that violent. Is it? Ultimate Fighter's Challenge is that really homoerotic show where the guys act all tough, get really sweaty and hug each other for an hour straight, right? Well…yeah. I guess I'd be concerned as well.
-Andy
A good meal will do the trick
Andy,
I have a boyfriend who is very religious due to his family's influence. They are Jewish, and will not let him enter into a relationship with someone who isn't. I'm Catholic, and love my boyfriend very much. What can I do to change their opinion?
-Lucy
Nothing shows that you'll make a good wife better than cooking for his family. First, dig a pit in your backyard. Fill it with wood charcoal. Head down to the Italian Market and pick yourself up a whole de-boned pig. Now, invite your boyfriend and his family over. Throw the pig into the pit along with some vegetables, roast until ready to serve. Remember to be as hospitable as possible.
-Andy
What a day!
Andy,
The other morning I went to work like every other day. About an hour after I left the house, black smoke started to pour out from under the hood of my car. I don't really know how to handle cars, but my husband does. After calling the house and having no one pick up, I decided to slowly drive home. When I got there, I discovered my husband lying on our bed, wearing my lingerie and make-up. I've confronted him about this, but he won't talk to me. Is there any hope for us?
-Wendy
Black smoke usually means that you have a problem with the oil. Did you change it when you were supposed to?
-Andy
Don't even ask
Andy,
I dread going to my British Literature class every week. There's a room full of desks, but only one of them is left-handed. As I am left handed, and the only left handed person in the class (I've checked), I always try and get to that desk first. Recently, there has been another student who gets to class early, and takes this desk, forcing me to write uncomfortably throughout the class. Is there something I can say that won't sound too aggressive, but will be forceful enough to convince this student to leave?
-Margaret
This is the worst question ever.
-Andy
Andy Kabel is sophomore majoring in screenwriting. If you need Andy's advice, send your questions to AskAndy@thetriangle.org. Your name will be kept anonymous.
