Spring Break
Sexuality: Irony of the human appetite
William Mulgrew
Issue date: 4/6/07 Section: Ed-Op
- Page 1 of 2 next >
I'm told how desirable sexual experience is in a dating partner. One should wear the number of people they've hooked up with or bases they have reached as a badge of honor, or write them down on their dating resume. It's best to experiment and "keep your options open" rather than limit yourself to one person. Moral restraint, particularly taught by Judeo-Christian values, is "oppressive." Abstinence until marriage is unrealistic, I'm told, and marriage between one man and one woman is outdated.
What I find so strange is how much value is placed on sex. Yes, we all want it, but it's not the most important thing in the world. Or, I should say, in the decades of our reproductive lifespan, there's more than enough time to gain "experience," especially in marriage.
It seems everything else takes a backseat to how good someone is in bed. Our culture would sooner fall head over heels into sex rather than patiently evaluate whether someone's beliefs, values, maturity levels, life goals, or personalities (as well as our own) are compatible enough for marriage. Just get in his or her pants first, worry about all that important stuff later.
Even if scientists found a cure to every STD under the sun or developed the perfect contraceptive, this still wouldn't be a good idea. It says nothing to the emotional and psychological harm of multiple sex partners, or the social cost on society.
Dr. Carson Daly said it best.
"I don't think I ever met a student who was sorry he or she had postponed sexual activity, but I certainly met many who deeply regretted their sexual involvements," she said. "No one prepares young people for the aftereffects: the lowered self-esteem; the despairing sense of having been used; the self-contempt for being a user; the unease about having to lie about or at least conceal one's activities from family members and others; the difficulty of breaking the cycle of compulsive sexual behavior; and the self-hatred of seeking, after each break-up, someone else to seduce in order to revive one's fading self-image. No one tells young people that it sometimes takes years to recover from the effects of these sexual experiences, if one ever fully recovers."
What I find so strange is how much value is placed on sex. Yes, we all want it, but it's not the most important thing in the world. Or, I should say, in the decades of our reproductive lifespan, there's more than enough time to gain "experience," especially in marriage.
It seems everything else takes a backseat to how good someone is in bed. Our culture would sooner fall head over heels into sex rather than patiently evaluate whether someone's beliefs, values, maturity levels, life goals, or personalities (as well as our own) are compatible enough for marriage. Just get in his or her pants first, worry about all that important stuff later.
Even if scientists found a cure to every STD under the sun or developed the perfect contraceptive, this still wouldn't be a good idea. It says nothing to the emotional and psychological harm of multiple sex partners, or the social cost on society.
Dr. Carson Daly said it best.
"I don't think I ever met a student who was sorry he or she had postponed sexual activity, but I certainly met many who deeply regretted their sexual involvements," she said. "No one prepares young people for the aftereffects: the lowered self-esteem; the despairing sense of having been used; the self-contempt for being a user; the unease about having to lie about or at least conceal one's activities from family members and others; the difficulty of breaking the cycle of compulsive sexual behavior; and the self-hatred of seeking, after each break-up, someone else to seduce in order to revive one's fading self-image. No one tells young people that it sometimes takes years to recover from the effects of these sexual experiences, if one ever fully recovers."
Be the first to comment on this story