Sexuality: Irony of the human appetite
By: William Mulgrew
Issue date: 4/6/07 Section: Ed-Op
Originally published: 4/6/07 at 8:12 PM EST
Last update: 4/6/07 at 8:11 PM EST
Originally published: 4/6/07 at 8:12 PM EST
Last update: 4/6/07 at 8:11 PM EST
New York psychologist and professor Thomas Lickona outlines other emotional dangers: fear of pregnancy and disease, regret and self-recrimination, loss of self-esteem and self-respect, depression, and stunted personal development. Research published in the Journal of Marriage and the Family reveals that premarital sexuality and co-habitation significantly increases the likelihood of divorce. This doesn't include the issue of comparisons: instead of enjoying your sexual relationship with your spouse, you merely compare it with past partners, even when you don't want to.
Sexuality helps us discover the irony of the human appetite. Indulging our appetites, for sex or anything else, may produce short-term happiness, but long-term despair. Experience with multiple sex partners only increases sexual cravings, rather than satisfying them. Like drug addiction, more is needed to reach the previous high, and nothing satisfies. The more you engage in it, the less satisfied you become as you age, and the harder it is to develop long-term relationships, especially marriage.
It's also borne out in the differences between male and female sex drives. Women view intercourse as a closer, the ultimate form of emotional bonding. For men, we're generally in it for the pleasure.
The irony of the human appetite is that long-term happiness comes from restraint. By saving yourself for the physical and emotional intimacy with your future spouse, you're not limiting yourself but receiving more.
The Judeo-Christian system of values, so quickly spurned in popular culture, teaches us that we are slaves to our passions. You aren't limiting yourself by practicing restraint, but liberating yourself from unfulfilling passions. Unhappiness and oppression is disguised as "liberation" and "freedom." Christians don't spurn sex, we only realize that marriage is where it's best experienced.
As a history major, I find it curious when I'm accused of wanting to turn back the clock and halt "progress." There are thousands of ancient cultures that worshipped sex and didn't impose any legal restrictions on who you could have sex with. In the greater scheme of human history, the concept of limiting yourself to one partner of the opposite sex in marriage is unique, while "anything goes" is the norm. Who is turning back the clock and undoing hundreds of years of societal development?
Contrary to popular belief, it's never too late to try again. Even if, like me, you've been sexually involved in the past, there's still hope. You can save yourself for your future spouse. It takes time, but eventually you will heal. It's not easy, but I don't regret it one bit, and I speak with experience.
William Mulgrew is a junior majoring in history-politics and English and is the ed-op editor. He can be reached at william@thetriangle.org.
Sexuality helps us discover the irony of the human appetite. Indulging our appetites, for sex or anything else, may produce short-term happiness, but long-term despair. Experience with multiple sex partners only increases sexual cravings, rather than satisfying them. Like drug addiction, more is needed to reach the previous high, and nothing satisfies. The more you engage in it, the less satisfied you become as you age, and the harder it is to develop long-term relationships, especially marriage.
It's also borne out in the differences between male and female sex drives. Women view intercourse as a closer, the ultimate form of emotional bonding. For men, we're generally in it for the pleasure.
The irony of the human appetite is that long-term happiness comes from restraint. By saving yourself for the physical and emotional intimacy with your future spouse, you're not limiting yourself but receiving more.
The Judeo-Christian system of values, so quickly spurned in popular culture, teaches us that we are slaves to our passions. You aren't limiting yourself by practicing restraint, but liberating yourself from unfulfilling passions. Unhappiness and oppression is disguised as "liberation" and "freedom." Christians don't spurn sex, we only realize that marriage is where it's best experienced.
As a history major, I find it curious when I'm accused of wanting to turn back the clock and halt "progress." There are thousands of ancient cultures that worshipped sex and didn't impose any legal restrictions on who you could have sex with. In the greater scheme of human history, the concept of limiting yourself to one partner of the opposite sex in marriage is unique, while "anything goes" is the norm. Who is turning back the clock and undoing hundreds of years of societal development?
Contrary to popular belief, it's never too late to try again. Even if, like me, you've been sexually involved in the past, there's still hope. You can save yourself for your future spouse. It takes time, but eventually you will heal. It's not easy, but I don't regret it one bit, and I speak with experience.
William Mulgrew is a junior majoring in history-politics and English and is the ed-op editor. He can be reached at william@thetriangle.org.
