Spring Break
The Yowie: Australian for 'unlikely'
By: Aaron Sakulich
Issue date: 3/2/07 Section: Ed-Op
Originally published: 3/2/07 at 10:23 AM EST
Last update: 3/2/07 at 10:23 AM EST
Originally published: 3/2/07 at 10:23 AM EST
Last update: 3/2/07 at 10:23 AM EST
For instance, take the case of Sue O'Conner and her husband. In the Blue Mountains of Australia, they wake monthly from horrible, twisted dreams to a strange, "electric" feeling in the air. Peeping in on them from the window is a creature with a tiny, human-like head atop broad, powerful shoulders. They estimate that it is eight feet tall, to be able to see in that particular window. When I say that they awake monthly, I mean just that: The creature and the terrible dreams come around only during Sue's period.
To be blunt, this is the sort of Yowie report in which I am unable to believe. We have no evidence, anywhere on the Earth, that some sort of animal can control the dreams of human beings. The fact that it only comes around during menstrual cycles is further suspicious; no similar behavior can be seen on other, more down to earth creatures. And with the notable exception of the electric eel, no other animal creates any sort of "electric feel" in a room. Therefore, the reasoning goes, the Yowie must not be a creature of this Earth; it is alternatively a space alien, a ghost or some sort of psychic phenomenon, depending on who you talk to.
The only evidence that we have of this story is the word of two people, and I don't trust eyewitness accounts farther than I can throw an elephant. Where are the photographs? The corroborating witnesses? The hair and poop and whatnot it must surely leave behind? Since it comes around like monthly clockwork, setting some sort of trap should hardly be a difficult exercise. So I ask you: In the face of no evidence other than someone's story, what is more likely? That a psychic space ghost monster is peeping in on unsuspecting Aussie couples, or that they, intentionally or unintentionally, fabricated the story?
On the site of the Australian Yowie Research group, we find a tale of unparalleled madness. An Australian man claimed that, no matter where he goes, he is accosted by Yowies. On one occasion, a Yowie turned invisible and chased him off a cliff, for which he had to go to the hospital. (Though the creature was invisible, he and his girlfriend could see footprints appearing in the first as the creature approached them.) He took to wearing a helmet to bed so that Yowies could not assault him in his sleep, only to find that the helmet would be lying on the floor when he awoke. After wiring it on as he slept, the Yowies simply went into him through his shoulder. When trying to enter an area with high UFO/Yowie activity, his car was broadsided by that of another motorist, killing the other driver. When the man attempted to return to the site, the exact same accident occurred a second time. He now claims to be working on a perpetual motion machine.
To be blunt, this is the sort of Yowie report in which I am unable to believe. We have no evidence, anywhere on the Earth, that some sort of animal can control the dreams of human beings. The fact that it only comes around during menstrual cycles is further suspicious; no similar behavior can be seen on other, more down to earth creatures. And with the notable exception of the electric eel, no other animal creates any sort of "electric feel" in a room. Therefore, the reasoning goes, the Yowie must not be a creature of this Earth; it is alternatively a space alien, a ghost or some sort of psychic phenomenon, depending on who you talk to.
The only evidence that we have of this story is the word of two people, and I don't trust eyewitness accounts farther than I can throw an elephant. Where are the photographs? The corroborating witnesses? The hair and poop and whatnot it must surely leave behind? Since it comes around like monthly clockwork, setting some sort of trap should hardly be a difficult exercise. So I ask you: In the face of no evidence other than someone's story, what is more likely? That a psychic space ghost monster is peeping in on unsuspecting Aussie couples, or that they, intentionally or unintentionally, fabricated the story?
On the site of the Australian Yowie Research group, we find a tale of unparalleled madness. An Australian man claimed that, no matter where he goes, he is accosted by Yowies. On one occasion, a Yowie turned invisible and chased him off a cliff, for which he had to go to the hospital. (Though the creature was invisible, he and his girlfriend could see footprints appearing in the first as the creature approached them.) He took to wearing a helmet to bed so that Yowies could not assault him in his sleep, only to find that the helmet would be lying on the floor when he awoke. After wiring it on as he slept, the Yowies simply went into him through his shoulder. When trying to enter an area with high UFO/Yowie activity, his car was broadsided by that of another motorist, killing the other driver. When the man attempted to return to the site, the exact same accident occurred a second time. He now claims to be working on a perpetual motion machine.
Ian Westray
posted 3/03/07 @ 7:29 AM EST
"Stultify": cause to lose enthusiasm and initiative, esp. as a result of a tedious or restritive routine.
"Stupefy": astonish and shock.