The Triangle

Issue date: 1/7/05 Section: Entertainment

Media Credit: Morgen Rossmair Behold: the dangerhold

There is a sign in University Crossings at the top of a stairway. This sign is made of a large piece of plywood, and upon this large piece of plywood are spray-painted the words "DANGER HOLE." Every now and then, I will pause as I walk by it and contemplate the possibilities of something with such a glorious name as that. I mean, there are so many things that could conceivably be inside a danger hole, things like rabid dogs, rabid squirrels, rabid bears, and George Bush.

I figure that it has to be a special kind of danger for them to specify that this hole is no mere hole: it's a danger hole, and that's an important distinction. Holes are dangerous by nature: potholes, manholes, and assholes are all bad things to be involved with (I assume that this is why I don't have a girlfriend).

They reassure us that this hole is not only dangerous due to the nature of holes: it is a specifically dangerous hole with its very own unique form of hole-related danger. I can only imagine the horrific things that might go on in the danger hole. There could be any manner of terrible things going on: genetic experimentation, torture, the filming of "Friends"... I shudder at the thought. The danger hole's mystery is only exceeded by its power. It has touched me in all the wrong ways.

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