The Triangle

Issue date: 10/22/04 Section: Entertainment

Media Credit: Yahooo! Movies [Click to enlarge]

Media Credit: Yahoo! Movies [Click to enlarge]

I have a soft spot for movies that are deliberately offensive. There is a certain freeness to their movements, unafraid of their actions and content to do what they damn well please. "South Park" creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone know how to do this better than most, and that's why I loved Team America: World Police, a farce on the War on Terror made with marionettes, a la "Thunderbirds." With all the uproar about supposedly "anti-American rhetoric" in today's movies, Team America just doesn't care, which is actually quite refreshing. But there's not even a specific target - people on the left and right sides of the issue are likely to be equally offended, from your liberal peace-touting Hollywood types to your right wing gun-toting Middle America patriot. In order to entice as many people into the theatres as possible, I will now talk to each side of the political spectrum separately. Liberals: the film lampoons America's controversial stance on the War on Terror and general ignorance of global issues. Conservatives: Michael Moore dies an explosive death.

Gary Johnston is one of the finest actors on the Broadway circuit, currently starring in "Lease," a musical which leads us into the opening number of the film, which has a title that is too jarringly offensive (and too audaciously hilarious) to reveal. He is confronted by Spottiswoode, the leader of Team America, the self-styled law enforcement network which protects the world from terrorism. He needs Gary's acting abilities (and his double-major in World Languages) to help uncover a terrorist plot somewhere in the Middle East. He is quickly introduced to all of the other members: Joe, a wide-eyed linebacker from Nebraska U.; Sarah, a clairvoyant with the amazing powers to point out the obvious; Chris, the rough and tough guy with an unexplained grudge against actors; and Lisa, whose fiancé was recently killed in the line of fire. A tragedy, but at least they stopped five terrorists from using a weapon of mass destruction in Paris. Oh, sure, they blew up the Eiffel Tower in the process, causing it to fall and crush the Arc de Triomphe. But that's piffle in comparison to their hard work, for only they can save the world from the diabolical Kim Jong-il, who plans to destroy the world with his WMDs. Will Gary earn Chris's trust? Will Lisa learn to love again? Will they stop Kim Jong-il? And can they overcome a league of film actors led by Alec Baldwin, who are trying to curtail their mission? The answer to all of these questions is a fairly obvious "yes," but what a hilarious ride it is getting there.

Now, just two weeks ago I was complaining about the insufferable pop culture references in Shark Tale, which inexplicably remains at the top of the box office. And yet I praise Team America, which features Kim Jong-il, Michael Moore, Alec Baldwin, and several other contemporary figures. There's even a song dedicated to explaining why the movie Pearl Harbor sucks. (And it does.) Certainly this is just as much as a trap of pop culture as the CGI movie. But Shark Tale composes itself as too many animated films do, as some sort of second coming of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, and will soon disappear for its egotism. Parker and Stone have no delusions about the importance of their movie; why do you think they made it with puppets? This is, first and foremost, a film made for people living and breathing in 2004, and aware of the War on Terror. No, it won't have much appeal past that, decades from now, but frankly, I feel sorry for the people who won't be able to understand this movie. They'll be missing out on a lot. I mean, if they can watch it in the first place. Be forewarned that I definitely mean "offensive" in the strongest form of the word; celebrities are picked off in a number of bloody ways, not to mention the amusingly unrealistic depictions of puppet sex.

Perhaps my favorite parts of Team America came in the blatant spoofs of Jerry Bruckheimer's trashy action pictures, complete with the clichéd, stock characters, the offensively-extended shoot-outs, and the obscene number of explosions. I've sat through far too many of these brainless epics, and let me tell you: it's about time somebody admitted just how plotless and contrived these movies are. My only surprise was that they left out the cop on the edge with nothing to lose.

I don't think I've laughed as hard all year in a movie theater as I did in Team America. Sometimes it was for courage, sometimes for parody, but more often than not for its sheer cleverness. You'll either be extremely pleased or extremely angered by this movie, but in any case - for the good of the country, and for the sanctity of the box office, go see Team America, or the terrorists win.

Rating: 5 triangles

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