Spring Break
Are we not men?
We are Devo!
Aaron Sakulich
Issue date: 8/6/04 Section: Entertainment
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My mastery of the English language completely fails me when I try to describe the trip I took to New York City on July 23rd to see 80s synth-pop band Devo live in Central Park. Much like Dante's trip through realms beyond, I witnessed immense suffering and horrors beyond imagining, but at the end, I saw something indescribable, something so majestic and awe-inspiring that to attempt to describe it is to dirty the very event: Devo in concert.
Devo had one or two songs that made it big for a little while in the 80s, and have recently been bastardized into Swiffer commercials, but they were ahead of their times. They were so good that they were too good. Regardless, Devo has a huge cult following that some of my associates are a part of, so despite the fact that I didn't know the lyrics to a single Devo song, in fact could only name two offhand, I went. It was the best choice I've ever made. I would compare traveling to New York City with Dante's odyssey through Hell, except that my trip took longer and was less pleasant. The 'Summer Stage' in Central Park was actually a fairly pleasant venue, a large stage facing an open-air clearing amongst huge, green trees. That is, it would have been pleasant if not for the rain, which dribbled constantly through the first opening act, of which I remember nothing. They must have been either the most unremarkable band of all time or wearing some sort of psychic camouflage, because I left convinced that they had never existed.
The rain let up just in time for New York natives The YaYaYas to come on stage. To understand how obnoxious their lead singer was, you have to know something about rain in New York City: it isn't made of water. My friends and I got soaked, and all the white clothes we were wearing turned grayish-brown. I had a small cut from a bug bite on my arm, and when New York rain touched it, the wound fizzled and turned black. It has a disgusting, syrup texture that makes clothing adhere to skin and gives one the feeling of having been recently submerged in shit-flavored cooking oil. New York rain is the single most disgusting, toxic substance on the face of the earth.
Devo had one or two songs that made it big for a little while in the 80s, and have recently been bastardized into Swiffer commercials, but they were ahead of their times. They were so good that they were too good. Regardless, Devo has a huge cult following that some of my associates are a part of, so despite the fact that I didn't know the lyrics to a single Devo song, in fact could only name two offhand, I went. It was the best choice I've ever made. I would compare traveling to New York City with Dante's odyssey through Hell, except that my trip took longer and was less pleasant. The 'Summer Stage' in Central Park was actually a fairly pleasant venue, a large stage facing an open-air clearing amongst huge, green trees. That is, it would have been pleasant if not for the rain, which dribbled constantly through the first opening act, of which I remember nothing. They must have been either the most unremarkable band of all time or wearing some sort of psychic camouflage, because I left convinced that they had never existed.
The rain let up just in time for New York natives The YaYaYas to come on stage. To understand how obnoxious their lead singer was, you have to know something about rain in New York City: it isn't made of water. My friends and I got soaked, and all the white clothes we were wearing turned grayish-brown. I had a small cut from a bug bite on my arm, and when New York rain touched it, the wound fizzled and turned black. It has a disgusting, syrup texture that makes clothing adhere to skin and gives one the feeling of having been recently submerged in shit-flavored cooking oil. New York rain is the single most disgusting, toxic substance on the face of the earth.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
xCatWomaNx
xCatWomaNx
posted 8/10/04 @ 1:52 PM EST
My God.
What I would have given to be there.
This is probably the single most appealing description of a concert that I have ever read. Thank you. (Continued…)
yousef.danak
yousef.danak
posted 2/02/05 @ 8:39 PM EST
To paraphrase and edit:
My God.
I was there.
This is probably the single most appalling description of a concert that I have ever read. Please, stop writing so poorly. (Continued…)
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